Emotion can be a powerful thing
by TheNerdess
Summary: Ensign Valencia Davis lost everything when the Caretaker dragged Voyager into the Delta Quadrant. This is the story of how she got it all back with a little help from some new friends. Starts in Season 3, Episode 2. Terrible at summaries, bear with me. Keepin' it 'T', mostly just fluffy romance with our favorite resident background Vulcan...
1. Chapter 1 - I have what?

**_PLEASE READ THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE!I_**

 ** _{I re-edited this chapter because I write all of this on a Kindle and the spell check is_ terrible. _Heheh, if it spells out a word in the English dictionary, it doesn't matter what the words is, it's good. So, freshly edited (by my own eyes, mind you. I have yet to find someone else to edit/review my work) for your (and my) happiness. I also changed the time period because I realized I was ahead of myself. So, if you missed the new summary, it's set in season 3, episode 2. Sorry guys. I'm already working on chapter two now, so expect it soon!}_**

 **_H_** _ **ello, my fellow fanfictioners! I am the Nerdess! This story follows Ensign Valencia Davis on her journey of fluffy romance, self-help, and growth during Voyager's stay in the Delta Quadrant. Trigger warning:**_ _ **Valencia suffers from clinical depression. Clinical depression is a very**_ **real** _**disorder that can cause very**_ **real** _ **problems. These problems can be both mental and physical, including (but not limited to)**_ anxiety, guilt, hopelessness, loss of interest or pleasure in activities, early awakening, excess sleepiness, insomnia, or restless sleep, excessive hunger, loss of appetite, social isolation, lack of concentration, thoughts of suicide, weight gain or weight loss _ **. This list is not meant to scare you, but rather, to make you aware. I am**_ **not** _**trying to make fun of**_ **anyone** _**who shares Valencia's plight. Since I have personally never been diagnosed with this disorder and being a generally happy person, I do**_ **not** _**have**_ **any** _ **first-hand experience**_ **whatsoever _(aside from a small bought as a child-young teen going through my parents' messy divorce)_** _ **. So, being the young,** **budding** **scientist I am, whenever I come to a place where I don't have enough info, I do some research.**_ **Everything** _ **in this story related to the science behind depression WAS DONE THROUGH ONLINE RESEARCH. If I made a mistake, PLEASE TELL ME! I am not here to make anyone with this serious disorder feel offended, so if I do, I am**_ **so** **extremely sorry** _ **. I want to make this as accurate as possible, both for the general awareness that it will bring to this serious disorder and for the betterment of this story in general. I will take any and all criticism on this topic with a smile because I don't want to downplay the severity of this disorder which affects many in our world today. Please don't forget to R &R, and I will try to respond to any and all questions/suggestions as soon as possible. I love you all! Smile, because I love when you do! :)**_

* * *

Ensign Valencia Davis hated the Delta Quadrant. She hated everything about it. Not only had it brought her here against her will, forced her to fight in violent, unprovoked battles with random alien species, and ostracized her from everyone she once knew and loved, it changed her. It hardened her. It made her close herself off from the rest of the galaxy, much like Crewman Harren down on deck 15. She felt alone, even among her own crewmates. After duty shifts, Valencia often found herself on her bed with a cup of tea and a PADD, hiding even from her own roommate, just so she wouldn't get attached to anyone to avoid the pain that would inevitably come with it. On those rare occasions mywhen her roommate actually _was_ able to drag Valencia out of her room, her lack of contribution to any part of a conversation led others to eventually ignore her, allowing her to sit on the edges of the mess hall and attempt to drown herself in work, looking on wistfully at the many close friendships blossoming around her, but refusing to allow herself the pleasure. Those days, much like tonight, she would sink into her bed, attempting to block out the pain and utter loneliness she felt, like an escape pod in the Void whose thrusters had burnt out, half wishing she was Vulcan so she wouldn't feel this way. Or any way for that matter.

 _Ahhh, to be emotionless. Such an ignorant bliss_ , she thought to herself. _Then again, if one is emotionless, they wouldn't feel the bliss that would come from being emotionless. Ha, listen to me,_ she thought wryly. _Alone in my bedroom, wishing I was Vulcan because I'm too scared to make a friend, only to lose them again. I mean, that may not even happen. I'm just a coward..._ Uncomfortable with her new train of thought, Valencia rolled over on her bed once again and contemplated getting up. She thought about her roommate in the main room. All she had to do was walk through the doorless hole in the wall and Valencia would be able to escape this loneliness. She was about to throw her leg over the edge of the bed, but something deep in the back of her mind stopped her from doing so. Some old fear of being rejected kept her in her place. It told her that her roommate, Brande, only brought her along tonight out of guilt, maybe obligation, that she didn't _really_ like Valencia. She rolled over, thinking she would never find an escape, and lay in the deafening silence of her dark room.

Hours passed, yet Valencia merely floundered about between consciousness and slumber. She rolled into her back. "Computer, what time is it?" she asked quietly. "The time is 1234 hours," it responded. Valencia sighed and crossed her arms over her face, exhausted. _Maybe I should go see the Doctor in the morning before my duty shift..._

* * *

Valencia rolled out of bed at 1445, still exhausted from her emotional turmoil the previous night. Sluggishly, she slumped to her bathroom, quite ready for a nice sonic shower. As the low, gentle vibrations knocked the dirt and grime from her body, Valencia remembered her promise to herself that she would go see the Doctor when she woke up. Hurrying so she would have enough time to drop by before her duty shift, she climbed out of the shower and into her uniform, noticing, for perhaps the first time, how the science officer's blue really set off her red hair. She grabbed her hairbrush from beside the sink and tried to make her wild curls listen to reason, but she finally gave up and pulled them back into her banana clip. Letting her curls flop about, she brushed her teeth and left the bathroom. On her way out, she grabbed her combadge off the dresser and glanced at the photo next to it. It was a shot of her graduation from the academy. Her mother had just barely made it there because she got stuck in traffic on the way with her brother and stepfather. Her twin brother, Shay, had been so proud of her that day, he wouldn't talk about anything else. When she got assigned as a xenobiologist on Voyager, they had even thrown a going away party for her. That night, Shay told her how much he was going to miss her, but she had just brushed it off, telling him they were just going to pick up Tuvok, trap the Maquis, and be right back.

 _"You don't understand, Val. I know we're twins and all, but I still feel like an older brother to you," he explained. "You're going off into the great unknown, you could get killed, and I can't do anything about it. I can't be there to protect you..." "Why do you assume I'll need protection?!" she yelled. "I'm a woman now, Shay, not some naïve little girl! I knew what the risks were-" "But did you bother to think how they would affect us?!" he countered. Valencia had glared, actually_ glared _at her brother. "It's_ my _life, Shay._ Don't _tell me what to do with it," she growled._ His hurt expression had stung her a little bit, but she was so mad at the time that she hasn't cared. A few days into their mission, she decided that when they got back, she would apologize to him in person, but almost 5 years later, she hasn't had the chance...

With a huff, Valencia walked out of her room, eager to forget her flashback. She left her shared quarters, not even bothering to check if Brande was in the common area. Making her way to the mess hall on deck two, she wondered about how she was going to conduct her inquiry in Sickbay. She hadn't the slightest idea of what was wrong with her, so Valencia guessed she should just answer the Doctor's questions, right? Exiting the turbolift, Valencia avoided making eye contact with anyone on her way to the mess hall, lest they try to strike up a conversation. Upon entering, she noticed immediately that the hour before the beginning of Gamma shift was the prime time for breakfast for Gamma-shifters. She crossed the room to the replicator and ordered herself some 'breakfast', if you could even call it that, seeing as the readout on the replicator showed the time to now be 1532, allowing her about 5 minutes to eat. "Computer, Valencia Gamma-2 please." With a beep and a whirring hum, a steaming cup of Irish Breakfast Tea, which she knew already contained sugar and milk in it, materialized in the little alcove next to a small plate with an omelet and two prices of toast. Valencia knew she was practically throwing away her replicator rations, but she was in a rush and didn't want to risk being hungry later by eating - and not finishing - whatever Neelix had made for them. Carrying her food over to the small table in the corner by the window, she quietly ate her food. It was still pretty early until the end of Alpha shift, but she saw a few Alpha-shifters enter the mess hall, probably because they had finished all their work early and there weren't any current threats that she knew of. While she people-watched, she noticed a few crewmembers for the first time. A younger Betazoid woman Playing 3D chess, some Asian guy. Then, she saw the doors to the mess hall open once again and in walked a young Vulcan she had not noticed before.

 _Oh look_ , she thought dryly. _It's my spirit animal. Or is that wannabe spirit animal?_

Glancing up from the PADD he was reading, he got a cup of something from Neelix. He made his way to a nearby table and sat, still reading his PADD and taking the occasional sip from his steaming mug. _He_ is _rather handsome... Wait, what am I doing!_ She looked quickly at the readout on the replicator. 1539. _Crap!_ Valencia wolfed down the rest of the omelet and downed the rest of her tea. Grabbing the last slice of toast, she carried the plate and put it back in the replicator for recycling, snarfing the toast as she went. She raced out the doors and down the hall to the turbolift, grateful that the biolab was on the same deck as Sickbay. Reaching the turbolift, Valencia ran in. "Deck five," she said hurriedly. The turbolift hummed with life and she felt her stomach sink slightly with the movement. Then, then doors opened and she was off again, hurrying through the corridors to Sickbay.

When she arrived, the doors slid open to greet her. Valencia stepped past the threshold of Sickbay, allowing the doors to close behind her with a whish. Then, the Doctor walked through and saw her by the doors. "Is there something I can do for you, Ensign?" he asked, seeming somewhat agitated. "Umm, well-"

The Doctor's face changed from his usual not-totally-happy look to an annoyed one in a fraction of a second. "I'll have to ask you _not_ to waste my time. I have a patient in critical care at the moment, and need to tend to her as quickly as possible. Do you need my help or not?" he interrupted. Valencia glanced behind him, seeing a mess of stuff going on in the surgical bay and stood a little straighter.

"Yes, I've been having trouble sleeping for a few nights now. At first, I thought it was just stress from work, but now I'm not so sure, but if you're too busy right now I can just-" "Nonsense," he interrupted - again. The Doctor quickly grabbed a medical tricorder from a nearby cart and called her a little deeper into Sickbay, out of the way of anyone who might try to get in.

"Hold still," he said, scanning her body while carefully circling her. The Doctor's eyebrows knit together and he pursed his lips.

"Your serotonin levels are very low..." He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, concern and skepticism written all over his face. "Ensign," he began, closing the tricorder and turning to look at her her with a now very serious expression. "Have you had any recent thoughts of suicide?" Valencia's eyes grew wide with shock. "Suicide?" she repeated. "No way! I would never do that!"

"Alright, what about feelings of worthlessness? Hopelessness?" he asked, his face darkening. Valencia felt her own face sinking, realizing he knew what was causing her insomnia. "Have you had any recent fights with anyone? A close friend perhaps?" Valencia remembered once again the fight with her brother the night before she boarded Voyager and the guilt that came with it. "I don't have any friends," she said quietly, looking away from the Doctor's face. "Not anymore." The Doctor's face softened. Quietly, he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "How long has this been going on?" he asked. Valencia thought for a moment. "Maybe a few months... After we entered the Delta Quadrant..."

"Would you like to talk about it?" Valencia met his eyes through her own lashes, giving a dry smile. "Heh, not particularly." He looked at her with compassion. "Well, if you ever decide to, you know where to find me." She nodded.

Then, it was back to all-business. "I'm diagnosing you with clinical depression," he stated, reaching around to ready a hypospray. "I'm going to prescribe a daily injection of escitalopram," he said, turning to face her and showing her the hypospray. She nodded stiffly, signaling that she was okay with accepting his treatment. He injected her and continued talking. "This daily injection should restore your normal serotonin levels. We'll try this out for a week and see how it goes. Please see me again tomorrow, and do tell me if you start to feel any negative - or positive - effects." He smiled weakly. "I am your doctor, after all." Valencia gave a small smile, mostly out of politeness, as thanks for his help.

"I will," she promised. She glanced at a screen next to the door on her way out. _1557\. I still have a few minutes._ "Thank you, Doctor," she called as she exited Sickbay. _Let's hope I'm not late..._


	2. Chapter 2 - I have a friend (or two)

_**Oh, joy! Chapter 2! Happy you all made it this far! Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter, but then, maybe that's from my ridiculously long public service announcement in my last chapter THAT I STILL STICK TO. Also, DISCLAIMER: I do**_ **not _own Star Trek or any of its characters. I only own my OCs Valencia and Brande._** **Don't** _ **forget to R &R because I can't do this without you guys' input! Just so you all know, I write all of my fanfic on a tablet and do not yet have a beta, so I'm sure that I've got typos. If you see any, please 'report' them so I can get them fixed. Smile, I love when you do! :)**_

Valencia walked into the biolab at 1603, cringing as she caught the time on her way in. Ensign Wildman was still on duty and Valencia nodded to her as she entered. "Hey, wait a second Davis!" Samantha called after her. "Where have you been? You're late - and you're always early by at least five minutes!" she asked, obviously tense but still trying to lighten the mood. Valencia smirked. "There's a first time for eveything, isn't there?"

"Seriously, Val. Where were you? You've _never_ been late before, and as you commanding officer, I have a right to know," she said with a smirk. Valencia considered telling Samantha that she got stuck in a turbolift or something, but decided that she would probably find out eventually anyway. "I was in Sickbay," she said simply. Samantha's eyes grew wide with shock. "Sickbay?! Oh, what's wrong Val?"

Valencia sighed. "Just ask the doctor - knows more about it than I do..." Valencia tried to shrug Samantha's worried look out of her mind and went to her station. "What am I working on today, Sam?"

"Well," she began. "Since you were just in Sickbay, I'm sure you saw the situation with Commander Tuvok, right?" Valencia nodded in response as she sat down. "I saw, but I don't have any details." "Well," Wildman continued. "Commander Tuvok was acting strangely and experiencing traumatic visions which we all presumed to be some kind of suppressed memory, but now, the Doctor thinks it's some kind of alien virus."

Valencia thought about the probability of that. To satisfy her curiosity, she brought up a 3D scan of Tuvok's brain to compare to her own thoughts. "Hmm, I suppose it's possible... But if it's a virus, what does it need a host for?" Samantha pointed at the area where the Doctor presumed the virus to be living. "It could be disguising itself in order to reproduce in peace," she said, speculation evident in her voice. "Maybe..." Valencia responded. "What if," she began. "What if it's not a virus? Maybe it's a parasite?" Sam looked at Valencia and pondered her hypothesis. She nodded.

"I'll ask the doctor to run some more conclusive tests. I'm the meantime, work on some kind treatment that could block the effect of this... _Whatever_ , in the case that it's a virus," she ordered. Valencia turned to the monitor after nodding while, unbeknownst to her, Ensign Wildman went off to a little alcove, out of earshot of Valencia.

"Wildman to the Doctor," she said, tapping her combadge. "Doctor here," he replied. Samantha sighed, trying to word her inquiry correctly. "Do you know why Ensign Davis was late to Gamma shift today?"

"Why yes, she was with me in Sickbay for medical reasons. Is she alright?"

"Oh, yes, yes. I just wanted to know if you could tell me what was going on-" "I'm sorry Ensign Wildman, but I have to fall back on Doctor-patient confidentiality."

"I'm sorry Doctor. It's just that, when I asked her, she said to talk to you since you knew more about it. Is there something I should know?"

Silence.

"I trust that this stays between us, correct?"

"Oh, yes, of course, Doctor."

More silence.

"Come see me later, after we get this thing at least stable. Doctor out." With that, the Doctor ended the conversation, leaving Samantha alone with her thoughts.

* * *

Together, Valencia, Samantha, and the Doctor came up with a treatment for the parasite using bursts of thoron radiation, releasing its hold on Tuvok and the Captain. As Valencia was picking up her station, preparing to leave for the evening, Samantha asked into the biolab at warp speed and confronted her.

"How long has this been going on?" she asked, her hands on her hips and her face stern. Valencia gave a small sigh and set down the stack of PADDs she was carrying. "I guess you talked to the Doctor," she asked. Samantha's face was more that enough of an answer.

"Maybe a couple of months -"

"A couple of _MONTHS_?!"

"After we were brought to the Delta Quadrant..." Valencia finished. Samantha blanched. "This has been going on for _years_?!" Samantha looked utterly shocked. "Why didn't you tell me?!" she demanded. Valencia's face hardened. " _Perhaps_ because it's not really your business," she replied coldly. "I barely understood it myself, maybe even less now that I know what it is. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to my roommate, let alone my commanding officer." "Val, How could you say that?" Samantha asked her, clearly hurt. "I thought you considered us friends..."

Now it was Valencia's turn to be shocked. She considered us friends? I always thought it was just her being a nice leader, not her actually being friendly...

"I didn't know you thought of me like that," she whispered. "Whatever made you think that?" she asked. Valencia looked up at her through her lashes and admitted a pained look. "I don't know, I just... I just thought..." she tried to speak, but she was interrupted by her voice breaking and falling into a few rounds of tears. Samantha stepped forward and put an almost motherly hand on her shoulder, drawing Valencia into a kind hug. "Would you like a few days off to work through this?" she asked quietly, her maternal instincts taking over and holding her friend close as she subtly shook in her arms. Valencia broke their hug and Samantha held her at an arms distance to see her friend shake her head yes as a tear found its way down her cheek. "I'll talk to the Doctor and see if he can clear you for a few days off duty." Valencia nodded silently, unable to understand how this young woman in front of her found anything in Valencia that was worth her time and kindness. Samantha pat Valencia's arm and picked up her stack of PADDs for her.

"I'll take these with me," she offered. "You go back to your quarters and rest - you've earned it for what you did today," she said with a smile. Valencia surrendered to Samantha's positive mood and let out a burst of giggles. "There's a smile!" Samantha cheered, joining in and giggling along. After a few moments of silly laughter, they began to calm down and walked to the door of the biolab together. Valencia stopped on the threshold and looked back at her new friend.

"Thank you, Sam. I..."

Samantha only smiled and nodded, understanding her lack of words. "It's okay, Val. You go rest. I'll talk to the Doctor and let you know what he says by 0300." Valencia nodded once again. "Say 'hi' to Naomi for me," she said as she turned to the hallway and walked towards the turbolift that would take her back to her shared quarters with Brande. Walking through the hallways, she was realized she was actually very tired, but she also felt better than she had in a long time. Upon reaching her quarters, the doors opened for her and she entered, half expecting to be drowned in her loneliness just by entering. But instead, she was greeted by her roommate sitting on the couch with a PADD in hand and for once, she didn't feel like skirting the room to avoid her. Valencia entered the room and awkwardly stood in the middle of the room. Brande looked up from the PADD she was reading, surprised to see Valencia here longer than a few seconds.

"Hey Brande," Valencia tried. "Hey," she replied quietly, clearly confused as Valencia never initiated conversation with anyone. Valencia was clearly uncomfortable, so Brande stood up to meet her. "Are you ok?" she asked reaching out to her roommate in comfort. "Yeah, I feel a lot better than I have in a long time actually..." she trailed off. "Do you need something?" Brande asked her suspiciously, drawing her hands back. "Actually," Valencia began. "I was wondering if you're doing anything tonight."

 _She hates me,_ Valencia thought. _She'll never want to be friends. I've been so mean to her, she'll want nothing to do with me._

Brande's eyes lit up. "Actually, I was going to the mess hall later with a couple friends of mine from engineering." Valencia was shocked. She didn't think she'd get this far. "Care if I join you?" she asked, sure the blush of her timidity was showing. Brande smiled brightly, obviously happy Valencia actually wanted to join her and her friends in the mass hall for once. "Yes! I mean- wait, no. Ha, no, I don't mind," she answered, returning to her spot on the couch. Valencia weakly smiled.

"Look Brande, I just want to say that I'm sorry."

Brande turned around to face her. "What do you mean?" she asked, confused. Valencia plopped down on the couch beside Brande and began to tell her about what she had been enduring for the past 3 years.

"Wow," Brande breathed. "I had no idea... I'm so sorry," she apologized, reaching to comfort the young woman in front of her but Valencia brushed away she words. "I'm the one apologizing to you Brande. We're roommates, we're supposed to be friends, and I should have told you." Brande shook her head. "No, that was your business. You had no obligation to do that, though, I am glad you did." Valencia smiled and held out her hand.

"Friends?" she asked. But instead of a hand, she received a full hug. Brande pulled away and smiled brightly. "Friends."


	3. Chapter 3 - I have a bad day

_**Hello, readers! Sorry that I haven't posted chapter 3 until now, but I've been on vacation and haven't had access to Wi-Fi for over a week. Hope I can convince you to forgive me by giving you this next chapter! As always, I want ALL of your criticism, don't hold back, because I just want to make myself a better writer and I can't do that without learning from my mistakes. Don't know if I forgot to mention in my last chapter of not, but I DON'T OWN STAR TREK! I ONLY ONE VALENCIA AND BRANDE! If any of you understand exactly how a Stardate works, please let me know, because I did some research, but I came up with lots of different FREAKING OFFICIAL results and I'm a little upset at Gene for not making it clear.**_

 _ **Also, a huge Thank you to NaginiFay for reviewing! I'm so excited too, and If you've got any input or ideas you want to share with me, I'm all ears!**_

 _ **Thank you, that is all.**_

 _ **:)**_

* * *

Brande led the way to a table where two, yellow-uniformed officers sat chatting. Valencia looked back at Brande, trying to convey as much doubt in her expression as she could gather. Brande gave her a knowing look and motioned to the seat next to the one she was walking towards. "Gentlemen," she beamed. "This is Valencia."

Valencia offered a small smile and nodded to the two men. One was that young Vulcan she noticed earlier, the other, a blond man she had never seen before. "Hello," she dared. The Vulcan nodded while the blond smiled back at her warmly and returned the greeting. Then, Neelix walked by and interrupted Brande's introduction of the two engineers. "Why, hello, Ensigns! How are you all this evening?" his cheery mood attracting most of the attention and letting Valencia take a moment to breathe.

 _You're fine, Val. Nothing to be worried about. These people are probably very nice, and even if they didn't like you, they probably wouldn't make a big deal about it. At least, not to your face._ Valencia stopped herself from gasping out loud. _What if they gossip about me?! I'm just some weird little wallflower, who better to talk about?! Maybe they're thinking about what to say about me right_ \- "And what can I get for you, Ensign?" Neelix interrupted. Valencia was at a loss for words. She hadn't thought he would even care about what she might want, so she wasn't prepared to answer his question. So she sat, open-mouthed, like a deer caught in headlights. Valencia could feel Brande's prodding in her side, but couldn't even think about it. Neelix's face looked back at her, and then, suddenly disappeared. Valencia registered his sudden absence and she turned back to the rest of the group, eyes glued to the table. Brande looked her in the side. "What was that all about?" Valencia looked back at her, then her friends, and once again into Brande's eyes. She could feel her eyes pricking with tears of embarrassment and stood up, deciding it would be better to leave now than to continue making a fool of herself.

She briskly walked out of the mess hall and turned left to the turbolift. _Chirp_. Her combadge. She hit her chest with a little more force than she intended, and the voice of Samantha Wildman followed. "I talked to the doctor," it said. Valencia nodded, even though she knew Samantha couldn't see it. "Could you meet me at my quarters?" Samantha asked her. Valencia nodded again, then realized what she was doing and responded with a quick, "Yes." "Good. I'll see you then." With that, their conversation ended and Valencia entered the turbolift before anyone saw her break down in tears in the corridor.

* * *

Valencia rang the door chime to Samantha Wildman's quarters. She heard a small "Come in" from the other side of the door and pushed the button to enter her quarters. Immediately, Samantha noticed the red blotches around her eyes and made her way from the doorway into a bedroom to Valencia's side. "Val, what happened?" she asked as she led her to her couch. As soon as they sat down, Valencia's tears once again spouted and she cried into Samantha's shoulder, for once allowing herself to let go. "I made - a fool of myself," she said between sobs. Samantha slowly rubbed her arm, trying to comfort her. "What did you do?" she asked calmly. Valencia thought about it and winced at the memory. "Neelix, he came by our table and-" "' _Our_ table'? Who were you with?" Samantha interrupted. "Brande, some of her friends" she rasped. Samantha nodded. "Please, continue."

"Neelix came by. I was lost in thought and he asked me if I wanted anything." Samantha sat back a little bit and looked at Valencia skeptically. "What's wrong with that?" she asked. "My _reaction_ is what's _wrong_!" Valencia gasped in frustration. She threw her hands up in surrender and fell back into the couch. "I just stood there with my mouth open like a fish and didn't say anything. Any other normal person would have at least said 'no, thanks' or something, but I just stared at him," she explained. Samantha looked back at her in understanding. "You're worrying too much about what others think of you," she said calmly. Valencia knew what she meant. "Maybe a few days off will help you get your bearings," Samantha said, grinning. Valencia sniffed and rolled her eyes, willing her face to not betray her excitement. "How many days are we talking here?" she asked. "Oh, you know, maybe a week," Samantha replied, crossing her arms and leaning back into the couch with a smug look on her face.

 _A week?! What am I going to do with a week?_ Valencia thought. "You should take the time to understand this better. Maybe even make a friend," she heard Samantha say. Valencia looked at her and saw her eyes full of warmth. "You can do it, Val."

* * *

"Gahhhh!" Valencia kicked the edge of her bed lightly. She was bored. There was nothing to do! Normally, she was fine having nothing to do, she could sit around with some tea and hide from everyone, but now that she's been getting her treatments from the Doctor, she's become restless. For once, she actually wanted to do things. _Maybe the holodeck? But I haven't scheduled any time... I can't go back to work. Sickbay? Well, I really don't want to just hang around with the Doctor and get berated for nothing, having my daily 5 minutes is enough. The mess hall? I don't want another awkward run-in with Neelix, but right now, it seems like it's my only option..._

Valencia picked up a blank PADD and left her quarters. She noticed that she still wanted to stick to her Gamma shift schedule, and she saw some new crewman in the corridors she had never seen before. Most paid no attention to her, but she saw that a few noticed her as well. She exited the turbolift on deck two and then entered the mess hall, half expecting it to be near empty and was somewhat surprised to find that untrue. She saw Neelix at the counter, probably preparing someone's food, and immediately remembered her encounter with him yesterday. _Perhaps he's forgotten by now?_ she hoped. Neelix glanced up at the sound of the doors opening and looked down as soon as their eyes met.

 _Nope_.

She stepped into the mess hall, and he was suddenly beside her. "Ensign," he said, surprising her. "Oh, Neelix," she began, already regretting her decision to come here. " About yesterday, look, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just-" but she was cut off by his laughter. "Ensign, I came here to say that to you!" He clapped his hand over her shoulder, earning him an awkward chuckle. "I meant to go after you yesterday, seeing as it's part of my job being Morale Officer," he continued. "But you had already disappeared by the time I made it out the door." He now looked at her seriously as he led her to a small table. "Are you alright?" he inquired. Valencia smiled at him weakly. "Yes, Neelix. I just wasn't prepared for your question, and I've only just begun socializing, so I didn't really know how to respond," she answered before offering an awkward laugh. "What do you mean 'you've only just begun socializing'?" he asked, concern hinting at the corners of his eyes. She waved off his question. "It's really not that important," she answered before laughing. "I guess now that I've had time to think about it, I just might take you up on your offer." Neelix brightly smiled. "What'll it be then?"

"Got any tea back there?" Valencia asked. Neelix smiled. "I'll be right back," he said before disappearing. Valencia smiled and looked down at her PADD. _Hmm, what do I do with you?_ she thought. _Maybe I should make a journal, about how I feel, or how I'm responding to my treatments? That way, I never forget._ Valencia grimaced. _Then again, I think I do want to forget..._ She looked back down to the PADD. _Well, I suppose that the Doctor might make me write one of these anyway, so I might as well do it now. Besides, it will be easier to track my progress like this._ Neelix came back with a small mug of tea and left her to her devices.

 _1810, Stardate 49274.9. It's been about 16 minutes since my second injection. I find myself becoming restless, very unlike my former self. I no longer wish to sit around my quarters during my free time, but would much rather do something. Maybe I should invest in some holodeck time, seeing as I now have a surplus of free time to spend it. Although I don't know many people, perhaps Brande or Samantha would be willing to go with me? I am still socially awkward, seeing as it's been years since I've really had friends, but I still long for the social interaction that comes with them. I only wish I had someone to teach me how to be normal again. I don't feel comfortable enough around Brande just yet, and I doubt Samantha will have enough time to do so - not with Naomi as young as she is. I could ask the Doctor, but I don't think_ \- "Ensign Davis?"

Valencia snapped her head up to attention. Standing before her was the young Vulcan from the previous evening with a mug and a PADD in his hand. "Uh, yes?" she mumbled, still in a bit of shock. "May I sit here?" he asked, motioning to the empty seat in front of her. She nodded.

"Um, how do you know my name?" she asked after he sat down, surprised he knew even that much about her. "Ensign Niccols speaks of you often," he replied before taking a long draw from his steaming mug. _Brande talks about me?_ "All good news, I assume?" she said nervously. He thought for a moment before nodding. "Yes." He looked down to his PADD and scrolled through it while Valencia sat awkwardly, unsure of what to do with herself.

"So," Valencia began. He looked up at her. "How do you know Brande?" He quirked an eyebrow at her. "We are both engineers. I have worked with her on occasion when our shifts overlap." "Oh." They sat in a brief silence before Valencia sighed in frustration and hung her head in her hands. "What are you doing here?" she mumbled through her fingers. After a short pause, she heard him say, "I thought you would appreciate some company."

 _What?_ She brought her hands down from her face and settled them around her mug. "What do you mean?" she said nervously.

He put his PADD on the table. "After your... _Hasty_ exit yesterday evening, I presumed there was some reason, other than your negligence to answer Neelix's question, that you left so suddenly. Seeing you here alone, during your regular shift, I assume it is a personal problem you are attempting to solve. Humans typically have a need for companionship, especially during times of conflict, and seeing as all those you are usually familiar with are currently on duty, I feel somewhat obligated to fill that role, considering how closely acquainted I am to your friend."

Valencia blinked.

That was... Cool? Creepy? Interesting? I'm not sure how I feel about that...

"Um, you don't have to sit here if you don't want to," she began. "Really, I don't want you to feel the need to make me... _Feel better_ \- I'm fine." He looked at her and seemed to be considering his options before he soon a quick drink from his mug and then steepled his hands in a typical Vulcan fashion. "May I ask," he began, his eyes almost looking as though they betrayed concern. "Just why you need to 'feel better'?" Valencia gripped her mug a little tighter, and her action didn't escape his notice. She felt her face heat up a bit more as he eyed her curiously. "You are not required to speak of it if you do not wish to. I only wanted to offer you council of you desired it," he said, easing her nerves. Valencia looked him in the eyes, searching for malice or maybe a patronising gleam, but she found only a blank stare with shadows of sincerity looking back and she sighed into submission. She leaned back into her chair, still cradling her mug, and sipped. "Ok."

 _What am I about to get myself into..._


	4. Chapter 4 - I have a teacher

**Author's note:** Hey, everyone! I'm _so_ sorry about how late this chapter is on getting out. In hindsight, starting a story that close to the beginning of a new school year was probably not the best idea, but I digress. To make it up to you, I made this one a longer and added a special prologue for another story that I've already gotten a few chapters into. Don't forget to tell me if you spot any missed typos - I want to fix them. Please R&R and enjoy!

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 _1846, Stardate 16738.7. It's been 1 hour and 16 minutes since my last injection. Right now I'm in the mess hall waiting on Vorik. Yesterday I ran into him after his duty shift and he could tell I was... Tense. I thought he was just feeling sorry for me about what happened the other day with Brande and Neelix and - oh, I really need to stop thinking about that - but he seemed to be sincere with his offer of "counsel," as he put it. I still don't know much about him though. I tried to ask Brande about him, scope out his personality a bit I guess, but she thought I was interested in him, romantically that is. In any case, the Doctor thinks it'd be good to talk to someone that's not a superior, seeing as we don't have a counselor on boards. I just think that the tables have finally turned and he's annoyed at listening to someone else's stories for once. Anyway, Vorik never gave a specific time to be here, so I figured he would come in an hour or two after his shift, but I've been waiting since 1735. I wonder if he decided that I wasn't worth his time. I don't really blame him. I wouldn't want to spend time with me eith-_ "I Hope you do not truly feel that way."

Valencia quickly turned around to see who it was that was reading her thoughts, her red curls flying behind her as she did so. Her eyes met with Vorik, towering above her with his hands clasped behind his back and an almost amused gleam in his eye. "What are you talking about?" she asked, although she knew exactly what he meant.

"'I wonder if he decided I wasn't worth his time. I don't really blame him. I wouldn't want to spend time with me-' and, I presume you were about to finish that with 'either'? " He cocked his head at her, silently asking if he was correct. She nodded and eyed him skeptically. "How did you know that? I thought Vulcans were touch telepaths, and I don't remember accepting a mind meld from you," she asked with a raised brow. He only regarded her lazily and said, "I can see your PADD."

"Oh." _That's a little embarrassing._

"I apologize for my tardiness. I was programming the holodeck for our arrival," he said. That piqued her interest. Valencia stood up, trying to make him seem a little less intimidating, but she was still too short to make much of a difference, only making it to his chin. "What are we doing in the holodeck?" she asked curiously.

Vorik stepped back and offered with his hand for her to walk ahead of him as he spoke. "I assumed that you would feel more comfortable in a neutral area, much like the holodeck. I scheduled an hour so we can speak in peace." Valencia nodded and began walking towards the doors of the mess hall, her PADD in hand, when she noticed that Vorik has already caught up to her and was keeping a steady pace beside her with his hands still behind his back. Hmm, she thought. I wonder why they always walk like that.

As they approached the turbolift, he stepped to the side and again gestured for her to enter first. She nodded to him in thanks and stepped inside. "So where are we going?" She asked as she stepped aside, allowing him room to enter. He raised an eyebrow at her and Valencia felt her cheeks heat up in embarrassment. "No, I mean - I know where we're going. I meant where did you program the holodeck to... _Take_ us...?" He furrowed his brows in confusion for a moment but then seemed to understand her meaning, adopting a more relaxed look as he looked to the doors of the turbolift.

"Deck 3," he said do the lift, then he turned to look at her for a moment before looking to the doors again. "I have designed a place for meditation," he said simply, only glancing at her out of the corner of his eye.

Valencia waited in vain for him to continue and sighed in exasperation. "That's all you're going to tell me, isn't it?" Vorik glanced at her and then continued to gaze at the door as if he hadn't heard her. _Hm, how lovely,_ she thought. Thankfully, the doors _whished_ open and Vorik nodded to her in a silent offer to go first, ending the awkward silence. Valencia took a step outside the turbolift and waited for him to join her. The two walked quickly down the corridor in silence, Valencia a little more frantically in order to keep up with her tall companion. They passed a few crewmen along the way, but while she only glanced at them and gave an almost unnoticeable smile in some form of acknowledgment or greeting, Vorik caught every eye and cocked his head in a very direct nod of greeting. Valencia almost wanted to roll her eyes at how polite he was - holding doors and all the 'ladies first's. It was starting to get on her nerves.

They continued walking and eventually rounded the corner and stopped at the holodecks. Vorik tapped a few buttons on the access panel and the doors slid apart. Valencia took a step inside a gasped. It was a cave. It was large and foreboding, yet, somehow relaxing. The walls which looked smooth from the doorway revealed to be ridged, covered in waves made by wind dragging sand across the wall. She traced her fingers along the grooves as she observed the many alcoves in the walls, each filled with candles. The floor was also littered with candles, filling the room with a warm light. A light breeze puffed her curls into her face, but it didn't carry the cool relief she was expecting, but rather warm, dry air from... Wherever the entrance was. In the center of the room sat a thick, round rug with a single candle in the center. Vorik cooly walked to the rug and sat down on his knees with his feet tucked beneath him, then he looked over at Valencia and silently offered her the space across from him. Valencia sat down on the rug, feeling the woven cords through the fabric of her uniform. She looked at Vorik, noticing how the reflection of the candlelight played in his deep eyes. Valencia drew her gaze away from his face and looked around her, trying to take in everything. "What is this place?" she whispered.

"As I said before, it is a place of meditation." Vorik brought his hands together on his thighs in that pointed Vulcan hand pose and closed his eyes. "This is a recreation of a cave I used many times when I was still on Vulcan. I have found it to be..." His eyes flickered beneath his eyelids as he searched for the correct word. "Enlightening."

Valencia smirked at his choice of words.

"I think I could come up with a few more creative terms." She looked at him, waiting for some kind of response, but he didn't seem to hear. Valencia wondered if he was waiting for her to stop talking so she sat, mouth shut and hands together, challenging the cave to be quieter than she. After a few minutes of nothing from Vorik, she stirred, trying to straighten her tunic as it had become wrinkled from her slouching. Vorik furrowed his brows slightly, but he said nothing. Another minute and nothing else from Vorik, she was beginning to think she was supposed to say something. As for what, she didn't know. She settled on clearing her throat.

"You are impatient," he said, his deep voice echoing around the cave.

"What?"

"You are letting your emotions guide your actions. You need to guide them instead." Vorik opened his eyes and raised his eyebrow with a tilt of his head. Valencia sighed in exasperation. "Well of course I am," she moaned. "I thought you were gonna do... _Something_! We're just sitting here in a cave doing nothing."

"We are not 'doing nothing'," he corrected. "We are meditating. That is, understanding what it is you are feeling and how to control those feeling."

Valencia threw her hands up. "Well, how am I supposed to do that?" she asked incredulously.

Vorik blinked slowly as he spoke. "You must first discover the root of your emotions in order to learn how to control them," he said.

"Well, the Doctor thinks they're caused by the sudden change, the total isolation of the Delta Quadrant," she offered. Vorik's eyebrow rose higher. "But why? For what reason would you have for feeling this way?" Valencia was quiet as she thought, wracking her brain for the answer to a question she had been asking herself since she began feeling this way. _Is it because I don't have friends? I mean, I felt pretty terrible being on my own all the time..._

"Perhaps you left unfinished business in the Alpha Quadrant," he suggested, his baritone voice rumbling through the back of her mind. _Shay_... She flinched at the realization, and Vorik didn't miss it.

"You did not get to say goodbye, did you?" he asked quietly. Valencia felt her cheeks heat up and looked away, knowing what was coming next. "You left on bad terms-"

"We had a fight," she breathed.

Vorik said nothing, imploring her to continue with his silence. She stared at the candle between them, her watery eyes making the candle dance as she recalled that night. "My brother, I mean. I - we were having a party, celebrating my assignment to Voyager, and he pulled me aside. I thought he was going to say some special brotherly advice, but he told me he was worried for me." She paused and swallowed the lump of emotions gathering in her throat. "Worried that he wouldn't be able to protect me." Vorik nodded and waited for her to continue.

"We - I got mad at him, told him I didn't need him doting on me, and stormed off. I figured I could go back and apologize when we got back from our mission to capture the Maquis, but," she paused to swallow again, her eyes watering now as she finally let out all the emotions the had kept bottled up inside her for almost two years. "That never happened," she bitterly with a shaky voice. "I just - I feel so bad, knowing that I'll probably never get to see him again, and the last thing I said to him was that I hated him." She looked down at her fingers, laced together so tightly that her knuckles were white.

"You were very close to him?" Vorik asked.

"He was my twin," she said quietly. "I doubt you can get any closer." her voice was layered with bitterness, betraying the pain she felt at the loss of her family. Valencia squinted and buried her face in her hands, gritting her teeth to keep her groans of anguish from escaping her without her permission.

"So you feel...anger...?"

"Of course I'm angry!" She seethed with frustration, all her pent-up emotions rushing out at once. "My whole world was ripped away from me! From everyone!" Valencia brought her hands up to her face again, unable to put how she felt into words. "I'm just so angry... " she breathed through gritted teeth.

"Lost."

"I know what you mean," he said, his deep voice almost too quiet to hear, but it struck a chord in Valencia.

 _'I know what you mean'? How can he know what I mean?!_

"What do you mean, 'I know what you mean'?!" she spat. "You can't understand how that feels, to be missing half of who you are!" He looked at her calmly while she shouted, tears now streaming down the sides of her face. "I -" she trailed off at a loss for words and sat in her puddle of emotions, finally letting the tension go. She felt embarrassed, letting him see her like this, but she was too lost in the moment to stop at this point. She wept for her brother, for her mother, the home she left behind. Valencia felt guilty, selfish, and began telling herself that she was thinking only of her losses, that she wasn't the only one who suffered, so she cried in anguish at the losses that everyone on board felt. Vorik took a deep breath and searched the flame, his eyes betraying the hurt he felt within.

"I understand," he began, "because I too am a twin." Valencia fell mostly silent, her sobs subsiding and trickling out as hiccups. _Vorik, a twin? I know I can't be the only twin on Voyager, but I would never have expected Vorik to have that in common with me. I didn't even think Vulcans had twins,_ she thought. Vorik looked back up at her and straightened his back, seeming to suck all of his emotions back into himself and leaving the room feeling emptier somehow. "I'm sorry, Vorik," Valencia said quietly. "It is nothing of your concern."

"Yeah, well-" Valencia caught his eye and his warning stare made her quickly look down and hold her tongue. Then she laughed, surprising even herself. She felt Vorik's gaze shift in her as she fell backward and flopped onto the floor, holding her hands above her head as the room filled with her delusional, exhausted giggles.

"I'm sorry, do you find something humorous?" Vorik asked. Valencia laughed again, amused by the absurdity of all this. Her words were broken by breathless laughs as she tried to explain how she was feeling. "This... It all just seems so _pointless_." She lifted her head up to look at him only to find that Vorik was already standing above her and she dropped it again. "I mean, we're just going to die out here. We're not gonna make it back. I'm not gonna see my family again." She glanced at him. "Neither is anyone else, for that matter." Valencia brighter her gaze up the ceiling before closing her eyes and letting the warm floor relax her body, seep into her back and shoulders. "Why keep trying?"

Vorik squatted next to her and she turned her head to look at him. "I believe that is called 'having hope,'" he said.

"Hope." Valencia closed her eyes and turned her head back to the ceiling. "What a stupid idea." She smiled in spite of herself. "What a wonderfully stupid idea." She grinned and opened her eyes, bringing herself back to a cross-legged position and sighed. Vorik stood up and offered her a hand up and she smiled at him before taking it.

"Hm," Valencia began, "Well, I don't know about you, but I could sure use some tea right about now." He nodded to her and they walked out of the holodeck together towards the turbolift. He waited for her to enter before doing so himself and then said, "Deck two," to the computer. The lift whirred to life and Valencia quickly turned to him. "Deck two?" she asked. He looked at her, surprised.

"Oh, is something wrong" Valencia shrugged. "Well, when I said I wanted some tea, I was thinking back in my quarters in my bed," she answered, suddenly uncomfortable being in a small turbolift with the tall Vulcan.

"Oh, forgive me. I have often seen you enjoy tea by yourself in the mess hall. I assumed you were making an open invitation to join you there." She stared at him blankly.

"I will be going there myself, in any case. I suppose I should ask then, will you join me?" He bowed slightly and quirked an eyebrow, unintentionally making a show of his invitation. Valencia thought for a moment. On one hand, she felt rather embarrassed by her recent surplus of emotions. She probably still had tear stains on her face from her crying. But, Vorik was being so patient with her, and he was doing all this for nothing. She smiled nervously. "I suppose it couldn't hurt.."

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 **Author's note:** Hey, ok. You made it through chapter 4, woo! Here is a prologue, teaser, whatever you want to call it, for an Undertale fan fiction that I have yet to post. This will be chapter 1 of that story. I want this to be a bit of a different story, both between your average Undertale gifs and my own writing style. Soooo, if you don't like Undertale, that's fine, I won't be putting up any more bits and pieces of this story into _Emotion Can be a Powerful Thing._ If you _do_ , however, please check this out and tell me what you think. I'm trying to come up with a good title, and haven't gotten too far on that yet, so if you have any suggestion, please share! Enjoy!

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Niccole gasped in awe at the beautiful mountain range. The sun was just touching the tips of the peaks, casting a warm, golden glow in the forest around her and seeming to light the moss and underbrush on fire. She watched as it slowly sank into the mountains and stood on a rock that jutted out over the cliff face, transfixed by its powerful hold. She started as she felt a hand clap her shoulder and whipped around to face her her roommate, Cassandra.

"C'mon, Nicki! Steph and Mary are already halfway back to camp."

Nicki smiled at her excitable friend and took one last glance at the sunset before following Cassie down the deer trail back to their campsite. Seeing the group's two cars, Nicki gave a small wave to her other two friends, Stephanie and Mary, and slipped her backpack off her shoulders next to the small fire the two had started.

"What'cha two doin'?" Nicki asked Mary as she made her way to her car and began pulling a tent out of her trunk. Mary smirked at her friend and grabbed a pot out of her own bag, setting it up over the fire before reaching inside again and pulling out two cans. Steph threw her head back in laughter when she read the labels. "'Beanie Weenie' and 'Spaghetti O's'?! Ha, you're worse than my dad, Mary!" Nicki laughed at Cassie's confused face upon walking in on such an odd sentence.

"Hey, you can't beat the camping classics," Mary defended with a shrug. While Mary and Steph tended to dinner, Cassie and Nicki set up the huge group tent. Seeing their work done, the pair made their way over to the... _Foodish_ smells coming from the campfire. Steph and Mary had pulled a few logs around the fire and were now wrapped in blankets to ward off the chill that set in a few minutes after the sun has finally slid below the mountain. Nicki and Cassie took their place on the log opposite of their two friends and wrapped a quilt around themselves as Mary spooned out their own two bowls of food. All four women enjoyed the quiet woods and crackling fire before Nicki sighed, set her now empty bowl on the ground, and grabbed her ukulele out of her hiking pack.

"Man," she breathed, strumming out a few chords on her uke. "It sure is nice to get out here away from everything, Y'know?" She closed her eyes and listened to the 'hmm's of agreement from her friends. "Yeah," Stephanie said. "It's nice to have a girl's trip." Mary and Cassie sent her some stern glares and tried to stop her from continuing, but it was no use. "Especially after Joel," she finished. Nicki struck a bad chord and groaned at the mention of his name before sighing.

She saw Mary smack Steph in the arm and whisper something she couldn't catch, but she was too emotionally exhausted to care. "Please, guys. I set this up so I could forget about Joel, not mope about him," she groaned. Stephanie gave a nervous laugh and shrugged. "Sorry, Nicki." Cassie snapped her fingers, drawing the attention of everyone. "Hey, that reminds me... I brought something to help out..." Cassie stood up from her spot next to Nicki and walked back to her car. She popped the trunk and rummaged around a bit before returning, proudly holding a six-pack of beer in her hands. Nicki rolled her eyes with a tight mouth and wrapped Cassie's now discarded half of the blanket around her shoulders. Mary and Steph were laughing, but Nicki looked more annoyed than anything.

"C'mon, guys, you know I don't drink," she moaned. Cassie sent the other two girls a curious look before playfully patting Nicki on the shoulder. "Oh, you'll be fine, Nicki!" She sat back down on the log and pulled a beer out of its sleeve, popped the cap off with a bottle opener on her keyring, and offered it to her. "Just enough to take the edge off," she said with a sly smile, quite obviously baiting her. Nicki rolled her eyes again and crossed her arms over her uke, choosing to look anywhere but at the cool drink in her friend's hand. Cassie took a drink and shrugged before the pair brought their attention to the other two girls sitting across the fire.

"What are you two laughing at?" Cassie asked with a giggle. Mary wiped a year from her eye and tried to take deep breaths to calm herself enough to speak, but all of Stephanie's sniggering cracked her composure and she simply got up and made her way to her own truck. She too dug out a six-pack and displayed it on her and Steph's shared log, but she bent over laughing as she did so. Cassie too broke out into laughter and reached across the fire to give the two of them a high-five. "I guess great minds think alike!"

"Really, guys? Are all of you insisting on corrupting my fragile little mind?" Nicki asked sarcastically. Steph grabbed one of her own and twirled it tauntingly in Nicki's direction.

"Oh, quite the opposite, my friend," she said. "Like our dear Cassandra said, it'll take the edge off!" "Yeah," Mary agreed. "You'll be fine, Nicki." She came over to her side and ruffled her long mousy hair. Nicki went to protect it and swatted her hands away. "We only did this because we want you to relax a bit." Mary gave a weak, worried smile at her friend.

 _Stupid puppy dog eyes._

Nicki sighed. "Just one and you'll leave me be about it?"

Her friends grinned back, pleased with themselves. Steph held out the beer to her and Nicki snatched it out of her hand. "Fine," she mumbled. She moved to unscrew the cap like a soda but stopped herself, remembering this was _definitely_ not a soda and huffing in frustration. Cassie snickered at her troubles and held out the bottle opener on her keyring. Nicki snapped the cap off and quickly threw it back at her friend.

"Hey!" Cassie swatted the bottle cap away from her face and glared at Stephanie and Mary for laughing, quickly shutting them up. She turned back to Nicki and rolled her eyes playfully. "You think you're real cute, don'tcha?" Nicki grinned and toasted her bottle. "Just a bit." She took a drink from the bottle and nearly spat it back out.

 _Ugh, what is that even supposed to taste like? Is it supposed to be that bitter?_

She heard a few giggles and looked up to see her friends making amused faces at her. "You're supposed to drink it, Nicki, not choke on it," Mary giggled. Nicki struck her tongue out at her friends and took another drink. This time it wasn't as bitter, but almost burned down her throat. She grimaced at the feeling and pleaded with her eyes at her friends. "Do I have to drink all of it?" she asked.

"Come on, Nicki! You said it yourself. 'One.' That means one whole bottle," Mary answered matter-of-factly.

"At least one," Steph finished with a snicker. Nicki heard a few sniggers from Cassie's direction and shot her a glare. Nicki grumbled but obliged her friends anyway. She took another drink and noticed that now that she had gotten halfway down the neck of the bottle, she felt a light buzz in her head. She couldn't quite pinpoint a location, but it seemed to grow until it filled her head. At some point, she couldn't taste it anymore, but the buzz in her head really did relax her. It wasn't loud or anything, but it seemed to mute everything else. As she and her friends kept drinking and talking, she found herself at the bottom of her bottle. Challenge completed, Nicki felt rather good about herself. That one bottle, however, soon turned into two, then three, until Nicki was drunkenly playing her ukulele while she and her friends sang off-key to 'Over the Rainbow' around the campfire.

Sometime early in the morning, the girls had all found their way into their tent because that's exactly where Nicki woke up the next morning to the smell of sausage and eggs. Nicki groaned and reached for her head, definitely feeling the effects of her actions last night. She was crawling out of her sleeping bag, trying to untangle the straps around her feet, when she was blinded by bright light. Squinting, she looked up to meet eyes with Cassie in the open flap of the tent.

"Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty!" she chirped. Nicki only groaned in response and flopped back into the mess of a sleeping bag. "How are you so peppy right now?" she mumbled into the bag. Cassie patted her on the shoulder and answered, "Remember Nicki, I've got a few more years experience in you."

"Yeah, whatever."

"C'mon girl, Mary's making sausage n' eggs. We've got a day of hiking ahead of us and you'll miss out on a real breakfast and get stuck with jerky if you don't hurry up." Cassie left the tent and Nicki blinked at the sudden loss of light. She groaned once more and rolled over to untangle her feet. After freeing herself, Nicki shuffled around her tent until she found her bag and quickly searched for the clothes she'd packed for today's hike. Upon finding the button down, vest, and jeans packed in her overnight bag, Nicki rolled around the tent to wriggle into her jeans and hurry out to breakfast.

Standing up made her head throb and she moaned while holding her head. Stephanie waved from her seat on the log and mumbled a greeting around the scrambled eggs in her mouth. "Morning sunshine!" Mary greeted. Cassie nodded and patted the log next to her. Mary stabbed some of the sausage in her bowl and shoved it her her mouth before scooping some food out of the pan sitting on an iron grate over the smoldering fire. She handed Nicki the bowl and Nicki took it with a grimace, feeling a stinging headache coming on.

"I assume this is a hangover?" she grumbled. She heard a soft chuckle from Cassie and heard an 'mm-hmm' of confirmation. "It'll probably last a few more hours," Sophie began, "considering your weight. That and the fact you've never had alcohol before," she chuckled.

"Yes, I am aware of how alcohol affects the body," Nicki snapped. "Why do you think I never went out drinking before?" Nicki shoveled some scrambled eggs and sausage into her mouth and grimaced at the sour taste on her tounge. She swallowed thickly and sighed, grimacing again at the sour taste that was apparently also on her breath. Nicki forced some more food down and got up after handing her bowl back to Mary.

"Thanks for the food guys, remind me to never listen to you again." She heard a few giggles and rolled her eyes. "I'm gonna go get my stuff together. Come get me when you wanna - Woah!" The forest was spinning and she stuck her hand out to catch herself on a nearby tree.

Vertigo - nice.

"Woah, easy there, Nicki! Why don't you just go get you backpack together and we'll take care of everything else," Cassie said as she steadied Nicki by her back and shoulder. Nicki grabbed her head and nodded, trying to make the dizziness fade away faster by squinting. Once she felt steady enough, Cassie had let her go back to the tent for her gear. Nicki slipped on a toboggan and shoved her wind breaker in the bottom of her backpack. She threw in some other small items without thinking about them and then her eyes settled on her ukulele leaning against her overnight bag that her clothes had been in. She picked up the small wooden instrument and considered leaving it.

It'll probably do me more good to take it with me. Might help relax or focus... Or something like that.

Really, she just wanted the comforting feeling of having it with her, but right now her mind was too foggy to admit it. She carefully tucked it into the backpack as far as it would go and pulled the zippers on either side up to the neck. There, all safe, she thought. Nicki hoisted the backpack up and threw it around her back, being careful not to sling the uke out with the centrifugal force.

"Hey." Nicki turned around and saw Cassie there in the open flap again. "We're gonna pack up the tent. Why don't you come out here, sip some water, maybe some mouthwash?" Cassie's lame attempt at a joke was not amusing. Nicki nodded and slowly got up from her knees, grimacing at her throbbing head again. Cassie helped her out of the tent and laughed nervously, dropping her hands to her sides.

"Look, Nicki, I'm sorry." Nicki did look at her roommate, surprised at her apology but not really buying into it. "I should have respected your wants instead of pushing you into doing something you weren't comfortable with." Nicki looked at her friend, and although she really wanted to forgive her, at the moment she was just a little too ticked off. "I appreciate you apology, Cassie, but I'm still pretty heated right now." Nicki sighed and adjusted her bag.

"I think I'm just gonna start off on the trail, Cas. I need some time alone." Cassie looked a little sad, but she smiled anyway. "Ok," she said quietly. Nicki gave her friend a hug and started on her way out of camp.

"Be careful, will you, Nicki?" She turned around and nodded solemnly. "Tell Steph and Mary where I've gone. I'll wait for you guys at the top if I don't stop and rest somewhere sooner." Nicki glanced at the forest behind her. "I just need to think," she said, though it was mostly for her own benefit. Cassandra nodded.

Nicki turned to the woods again and nodded to herself. As she took her first step, she heard the clinking of old empty beer bottles being picked up by Mary and Steph. Nicki clenched her fists at her sides and took off, stopping to catch herself every few minutes from her alcohol-induced vertigo. Although the trees were beautiful, Nicki avoided looking up at them Because it made her head swim. She sat down a few times, snacked on some jerky, drank some water, but nothing really made her headache go away any faster.

What was that?

Nicki spun around on the deer trail. She'd heard a snap behind her. She looked down the mountain to see if the girls had finally caught up to her, but she didn't see anything. It was probably just a squirrel or something, she thought. I mean, it's not like there's a monster following me in the woods.

A shiver went down her back at the thought. They were hiking up Mt. Ebot, after all. Even though Nicki didn't believe any of the stories, she still felt eerily uneasy just thinking about it. Everyone down on campus said to stay away from the mountain, that no one had ever come back, but people also said that aliens taught the Mayans how to build their pyramids. All the stories about monsters were just that - stories. Nicki nodded resolutely and immediately regretted that. She clutched her head as a wave of vertigo overtook her, followed by one of nausea. She stumbled through the trees, trying to get her balance without getting caught in the bushes, when she suddenly found herself leaning on some rocky cliff. She braced herself on the cliff and promptly threw up, wasting half a bag of perfectly good beef jerky.

When her stomach was done emptying itself she wiped her mouth with her hand, and then her hand in the grass. Using her clean hand, she fished around the side of her backpack for her water bottle and tried to wash the acid out of her mouth. When the sweet taste was gone, she rinsed off her hand and returned the bottle to its spot.

"Ohh, that was disgusting," she mumbled to herself. Her head was still swimming from vertigo, so much so that she almost fell down. "I need to sit for a minute..."

She looked down at the puddle of vomit on the ground by her feet.

"Maybe I should sit somewhere else." Nicki tried to take a few steps, just enough to get away from her her own breakfast, but she lost her footing. The world seemed to move a little slower, enough for her to look down between her feet and see that she had tripped over a root. Nicki held her arms out in front of her, bracing herself for the impact that She knew would had her to the core, but it never came. Wind whipped past her face and made her eyes water instead.

What...?

So slowly it was painful, the realization hit her.

She was falling to her death.


End file.
